EzraGardener.net

Understanding other people can be one of the most difficult things to do especially when its someone who has done something bad. I’ve always said that through the power of understanding one another we can end larges amounts of pain and suffering. However, figuring another human being out can be a lot easier said than done.

Why would you even want to understand someone else?
Anyone who has ever caused you any form of pain you would want to understand, because through this understanding you will be able to let go of any negative feelings you have towards that person. Once this is done that person is no longer controlling your life. Understanding sets you FREE from the venom.

Genuine understanding is like an elixir that is able to heal any wound. ~Ezra Gardener

You don’t have to put up with whoever is hurting you, but you do yourself a disservice to not fully understand another individual. Also, understanding someone is not saying your agreeing with them either.

What you need to know first.
First off its important to realize that the process of understanding another human being is entirely for your benefit. Its not serving the other person as much good as its actually serving you. The service you are doing for the person and for humanity is that you are becoming a more mature and enriched person by understanding another. In today’s times its far to easy to throw up our hands and get angry when it comes to friends, family and everyone else.

Also, before I get into it I want to point out that this is not the same thing as forgiving someone or letting them off the hook. Some people ( usually the most immature and stubborn types ) think that understanding someone means that they are letting someone off the hook, and so they never attempt to understand anything. These people usually become angrier and angrier over time because they never take the time to authentically understand those who have wronged them.

Going about it.
The best place to start when it comes to understanding another person is to first start with yourself. The more in touch you get with yourself the more in touch you will be able get with the rest of the world. Why? Because we all have human needs. These very basic human needs exist in ALL human begins. Once you understand how you yourself tick at the very core you will have somewhat of a better grasp on others.

Here is a general list of some of the basic needs everyone has:

Need for acceptance.  Everyone wants to be loved.

Need for significance.  Everyone wants to feel special in his or her own way.

Need for structure / stability.  Everyone loves feeling a certain level of certainty and familiarity.

A need for a little uncertainty.  ( Just to keep things interesting in life. )

Research who they are.
This is one of the best ways to understand someone. When you see how they came to the conclusions that they came to you will be able to fully understand and develop compassion in place of the anger you may be experiencing. Let’s take abusive people for example. These people usually come from abusive families so they don’t know any different. I’m not saying to let them off the hook. I’m simply saying that its best to understand, and through this understanding let go of any negative emotions you may be harboring for who ever may have caused you distress.